The Arbonne Girl

I realized that I’ve never written about my encounter with the Arbonne girl a few months ago. So here goes.

My next-door neighbor was hosting an Arbonne party to help out a friend who was training for the business. I told her I’d be glad to come, but I probably wouldn’t buy anything; she said that’s fine, most of her friends aren’t the kind of people who spend a lot of money on beauty products, and she was just doing this to help out this friend, etc. So Anna and I went over there.

The presentation got started with the Arbonne-girl-in-training introducing herself and then handing things over to the more experienced Arbonne representative. She was this blonde, fashionable, perky thing, kind of bubbly but very driven about her line of work. Kind of like a career-woman Barbie, if you will.

And I’ve gotta say, I just wasn’t clicking all that well with the Arbonne girl.

She started off talking about the business itself. It is such a wonderful career opportunity, you can make this much money once you reach such-and-such a level, etc. She recounted her own story as a struggling business woman in management working for a large company, how even with her and her husband both working they could barely make ends meet each month, and she said, “I realized that in my current job, the most I would ever be able to make was $100,000 a year!”

Wait a minute, what? Since when is 100K a lousy annual salary? I glanced around the room, feeling fairly certain that most of the occupants of it were well under that threshold. Did I hear her wrong? No, I’m quite sure that’s what she said. What kind of person can’t make it in central Arkansas on 100K a year?

Then she started talking about the products. They’re all-natural, botanical, certified vegan (do people eat this stuff or something?), certified organic, etc. And they’re about 300 dollars. Well, that’s for the whole facial regimen—cleanser, toner, serum, and so forth. (What’s “serum” anyway? Sounds like a fancy word for “face goup” so they can charge more.)

“I realize this is a lot to spend on beauty products,” she said. “I understand… I used to be the kind of girl that wouldn’t even buy my Clinique unless it was bonus days at Dillard’s!”

Clinique? CLINIQUE? Good grief. I’m more of a Maybelline/Cover Girl from Wal-Mart kind of girl myself.

The presentation came to a close, and I hung around for a few moments flipping through the catalog like everyone else. Then, as people were getting ready to place their orders, she called out, “Oh, and I have a chart that calculates the discounts for you… don’t ask me to figure 30% off of something… I CANNOT do math!

And there it is, I thought, averting my eyes and trying not to chuckle audibly. That clears a few things up. It’s all coming together now.

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